To summarise the type of writing I do, I'd like to tell a joke.A man picks up a hitchhiker on the highway. They are getting along quite well, talking and laughing, when suddenly the car breaks down.
"Damn, " says the driver "We'll have to hike through the woods to the garage to get someone to fix it."
The hitchhiker commiserates and says,"Well, these things happen. Let's get going."
They are hiking through the woods, when the driver says,"Did you know these are the Belangelo woods. That murderer cut a guy's head off and buried it under that tree right over there!"
They continue through the woods a bit further, and the driver says, "See those bushes over there...Well that's where they found that girl's hands that the killer cut off and threw under there."
Not long after, the driver says again, "This is where the murderer tied up a Swedish backpacker and cut her throat, while her boyfriend waited in the car."The hitchhiker is unnerved by all this and says "Would you mind not talking about it? You're giving me the creeps!!"
"Giving you the creeps!!" the driver says,"I have to walk back to the car alone!"
Jayne's Adventures In Wonderland Once upon a time, there was a sinister little girl named Jayne who fell through a rabbit hole into the Big Bad gaming forest. She was following a Black Rabbit, (he had long black dyed hair, black jeans, and a pentagram) who said, "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important convention. You will help me immeasurably if you could just whip up a game for Necronomicon." He was friends with the Cheshire Craig, whose large smile seemed to mesmerize Jayne until she seemed unable to resist his powers of persuasion and found herself running a game called "Blood Makes Noise."
The experienced writers were calling "Off with her head - we will not tolerate these games with gore for gore's sake!" But Jayne ran away as fast as her legs could carry her to a new convention called Saga. A strange man, known as The Mad Hatter Dennis had convinced her to write a game called "Forensic Evidence", which was well-liked by all.
Soon Jayne was having tea with the Mad Hatter Dennis and the Cheshire Craig at the British Lion. While drinking tea she met again the Black Rabbit who was late with games for his convention, and asked her to write "The Predator's Ball" a freeform based on Clive Barker.
Then Jayne came across a clearing in the woods, and there sat a large centipede smoking from a hookah and sitting on a giant mushroom. Strangely enough, the creature was also a convention organiser, named Christian. "Do you ever stop smoking from that enormous pipe?" asked Jayne. "Here," said Christian, "Take some of my Macquariecon mushroom and write about pollen and disease. Call it Doomsday"
But when Jayne ate some of the mushroom she found she grew so large she couldn't write a new game all by herself, what with the uni study, travel and working in the broking arm of a large international bank. So she asked her good friend the Unicorn Martin to help. And they created a game called If I Should Die which the Cheshire Craig ran at Sydcon last year.
The Queen of Hearts Peggy invited Jayne to a game of croquet using live children, when suddenly she shouted, "Off with her head, she must never borrow Martin again! I have been forced to a life of servitude bringing him tea and looking after the dreaded Rowan his sproglet!!" So Jayne ran and ran, and suddenly she woke up.
She was at Necronomicon again, and she was writing a game called The Runaways. It had all been a terrible dream...Or was it???
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